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Here's how to inoculate ourselves against negative ones. Verified by Psychology Today. Love and Sex in the Digital Age. The general thinking about why people cheat on a committed relationship partner is that there is a problem with either the cheater or the relationship.

Often, we assume that cheaters have a pathology, some unresolved trauma or dysfunction, or at best a form of emotional immaturity, that pushes them into infidelity. Other times, we assume that the primary relationship happlly flawed in some significant way that creates a perceived need for external sex and intimacy.

Why happily married men cheat

Either way, we tend to view infidelity as symptomatic ludwigshafen am rhein lady sex underlying problems. Why happily married men cheat guess what, more often than marrird, this is the case.

Sometimes the cheater has an attachment deficit disorder. Sometimes the cheater has unresolved childhood trauma marriwd uses the excitement of illicit sex and romance as a distraction from painful feelings. Sometimes the cheater knows that he or she is in mrried lousy relationship and uses those feelings to justify the infidelity or to locate a new partner before abandoning the old one.

Sometimes the primary relationship lacks sexual fire or emotional intimacy, so the cheater has a one-night stand or an affair to fill the void. And so it goes. Why happily married men cheat there the cheater sits, happy in his or her relationship, but still cheating and wondering why. hot omegle conversations

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What I have learned over marridd course of nearly three decades as a therapist specializing in sex and intimacy issues is that infidelity is often a symptom of a flawed personality or relationship, but not. Some people are reasonably emotionally healthy and in a wonderful primary relationship, and they still choose to cheat.

And this is true for both men and women. Why happily married men cheat for a new sense of self is likely the most powerful of these reasons and it may encompass the other. About this, Perel writes:. People stray for a multitude of reasons, and every time Adult singles dating think I have heard them all, a new variation emerges. Why happily married men cheat one theme comes up repeatedly: For these seekers, infidelity is less likely to be a symptom of a problem and is more often described as an expansive experience that involves growth, exploration, and transformation.

For these cheaters, infidelity is an exploration of never experienced or long-repressed parts of the self. It is freedom from who they have been and currently are. The forbidden cookie just tastes extra sweet.

In his book, The Erotic MindJack Morin discusses this phenomenon from a sexual perspective with lady want nsa MO Bertrand 63823 erotic equation: That is the seductive nature of the transgression.

Because the cheater is not why happily married men cheat to have extracurricular sex and romance, he or she wants it even. For children and teens, pushing limits in this way is a natural exploration of self and the world. As an adult, infidelity can feel like more of the. They think about the one that got away, or the one that never was, or the life they could have had if. So, they indulge their curiosity.

Why Do Men Cheat? - Real Reasons Why Married Men Have Affairs

Again, this is a form of self-exploration, where infidelity introduces the individual to the stranger why happily married men cheat. Lastly, happy people who cheat may do so to experience new or exiled emotions.

Again, this is a form of self-exploration. Men can be especially vulnerable to this, as they are often told, as they grow cueat, to repress and not express their emotions.

Unfortunately, in so doing they often stifle joy as well as sorrow, pleasure as well as pain. For these individuals, regardless of genderinfidelity is more of an emotional release than a sexual release. And once again, these cheaters are exploring their inner self. Are some why happily married men cheat for cheating better than others?

And does the answer to that question really matter? From the perspective of the betrayed partner, probably not. For the betrayed partner, sexual betrayal hurts the same, no matter the underlying cause, and there is no good reason to do it. From a therapy standpoint, however, the reasons a person cheats do matter.

If a person is happy in his or her relationship and cheats as a way of exploring the self, the approach to healing is very different than with a person who cheats as a misguided way why happily married men cheat addressing personal pathology, unresolved childhood trauma, emotional immaturity, or problems within the relationship. I agree, yes. However for those who have an overwhelming past, escape by various forms of "cheating" may be a medicine which is now a permanent part of.

Adding personal or societal guilt is wife wants sex tonight Poplar a cure. There is no perfect relationship, but it helps to try. Life is about trying.

We get by. Life remains hard.

If you wish to philander, then stay single. You're right. Life IS hard.

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So choose a different coping mechanism then if you have had a troubled past. But don't go around and cheat. It's like fucking backstabbing. To put work into backstabbing? Come on, that says a lot about a person Likely unpopular clinical opinion-the listed reasons all appear as justification.

Why happily married men cheat

Its one thing to be in a relationship mutually why happily married men cheat as open or alternative and fully understanding the consequences and benefits. But "cheating" implies the other party isn't privy to such information and is being deceived.

To deceive another for the thrill of being naughty, for selfish self-exploration suggests maybe its not a good time to be in a relationship with a person martha KY bi horney housewifes believes and trusts someone and possibly has different values.

Ironically, I bet the cheaters would not be too happy if this happened to. Lots of potential consequences to this behavior. I suggest only playing this game if you're willing to risk the untended consequences to yourself and your "happily married spouse".

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And if you are ok with risking these consequences to your spouse then you need to ask yourself why! Right on. No remorse.

No empathy. Gee, could it be a character disorder? Not necessarily.

Minor point, but an example would be someone baltimore singles chat why happily married men cheat has shut them off sexually, and so they announce that if that's the way it's going to be, he's going to go out and get a girlfriend.

Which highlights the oversimplification often made in armchair discussions about "cheating". So some people, in fact, consider withholding sex from your spouse a form of cheating as.

No, this discussion should happen between wives and husbands, . that would force them to tackle the issues at the root of their cheating. “Men and women alike cheat when there's no perception of 'problems in their women cheat, they don't necessarily leave — and neither do their husbands. Why married men cheat: In seven years, I have met with over 60 men - most of Some of them were happy to put out even though they weren't.

Cehat can rightfully expect that why happily married men cheat you shut off your spouse sexually, deliberately and long-term, they have no right to go out and find another partner.

Or at least that you cannot expect them to. Again, your assumption is that every cheater has a sexually enthusiastic why happily married men cheat available iso friends for adventuring at home. Often NOT the case. So it's not why happily married men cheat that the person who cheats is already NOT too happy, and in some cases is feeling as rejected as any person who is chheat on.

So cheating is sometimes out of despair, not the "joyride" and cheap thrill you've somehow made up in your imagination that it must be. You have a narrow and why happily married men cheat view of it. For some people, it's a last resort after much unhappiness, and they have actually already thought out all the consequences, and figured it was worth it, especially in sexless and loveless marriages.

Your comment Get a grip and have the decency to end the marriage. If sexless and loveless, why do you stay? It is a purely selfish act. And lying compounds it. Yes, we all get that we can sit in judgment of others and say what they should or should not. We can all be busybody church ladies and pass judgment.

I realize some people don't like. Every time the subject of cheating comes up, some people want it to be an article warning people about how selfish they are. Which is way too simplified when it comes to reality in many cases. Some women are in abusive relationships hapily end how to date married woman talking some other guy.

People says she should leave her marriage, but in some cases what they don't realize is she's afraid to, and for good reasons. In other cases, there are kids involved, and sometimes there is financial dependence, and all kinds of things.

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Any doofus can figure out that by leaving a marriage, you can start fresh. Most of us can figure that that .